At 2:30pm - 5:30pm 29th October 2006, Urofpersia, Centaur and I started buiding 8 identical Hudun Pao catapults for a full artillery corps of 8 Catapults for a 8 "Gun" Salute for my wedding banquet on the 11th November 2006.
The main frames will stand approximately 5 inches tall each with the throw-arms at rest making the total height approximately 10 inches tall. They will be the table centerpieces cum dinner menu holder for the event.
This will very interestingly be the largest assembly of Chinese Hudun Paos since the fall of the Song dynasty 1000 years ago.
forgot to take off your specs.? Terracotta army?
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ReplyDeleteWarhammer?
ReplyDeleteLJM we know you weren't going for a regular wedding and banquet.
Cheers!
wow!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know ancient chinese armour looked so funky way back then :)
ReplyDeletehehehe, must be at the wrong wedding party... Viking aganist Terracotta? It is going to be a heck of a war.... at a wedding?? gosh... and Angry Boar certainly looked his part.
ReplyDeleteThe pace was punishing, and the terrible orcish Overseer Liang was brutal despite his comically spectacled appearance. Liberally applying his whip, he drove the slave workers to new heights of desperation with his abject cruelty. He even denied seats to the older workers, forcing everyone to work from the rough wooden floor. As the uncaring sun scorched mercilessly upon the backs of the slave workers, they laboured on, milling, cutting and grinding the various catapult pieces to perfection.
ReplyDeleteSlave No. CHF1089, also known as Urofpersia, was overheard shouting to Overseer Liang, "Hey, whip me some more, these pieces are still out of alignment and we need to redo half of them." and so the whip fell yet again onto bloodied backs and the fiendish productionline plodded on.
... and so they laboured on, the harsh sounds of the whip echoing in along the dark recesses of the dungeon where the slaves worked till they dropped. The fiendish catapults began to take shape, a whole artillery battery of the infamous Song Hudun Pao, the defenders of Xiangyang.
ReplyDelete"You're too slow, too slow!" yelled the Overseer, grabbing the woodworking tools for himself for he too was under a dateline on pain of death. Working feverishly the Slaves and the Overseer continued their milling and cutting prefering the death of overworking exhausion to risking the Supreme Overlord wrath.
looking forward to an unusual wedding banquet..
ReplyDeletecount down..
hmmm what should i wear?
tang dynasty ladies' hanfu of course!
ReplyDeleteumm overseer.. tried using normal glue on the sticks and it keeps falling off... Will try with other kind of glue... hrrmh and someone told me any glue will do. tsk tsk tsk. Please arrange to collect the subcontracted parts by tomorrow 6pm at the slave's factory.
ReplyDelete"The Overseer is not available to take your call right now. Please leave your slave indentification and sweatshop number and he will get back to you when he feels like it."
ReplyDelete;)
No worries if you can't glue the part. Just do the other bindings and I'll finish up the cross piece glueing and bindings. I still need to do the axles and topknots anyway.
oh Master Overseer, the work shall be completed by this evening... if my meeting finishes early and I resolve my PDA problem.. you can collect it either from my office during lunch time or from my home in the evening... my hp's battery is dead, don't try calling... you will turn blue.
ReplyDeletesounds good. I have a meeting with Marriot in the evening so today not too good. Ur suggest he'll pick them up from you tomorrow. That ok? You still haven't told me how much I owe you for the string (and glue).
ReplyDeleteCompliments of the stringer.... will see Ur tonight at Junction 8... you gotta to do the rest of the axle strings... sorry.
ReplyDeleteNo problem! Thanks for all the help!
ReplyDeleteFor awhile, the work was stalled briefly as the usually highly efficient forced slave labour system broke down due to logistical and supply problems. The orcish overseer, moved to tears with boredom built a wooden bridge with the catapult frames to kill time as well as to hone his skills for his next assignment building bridges along the Death Railway over the River Kwai.
ReplyDeleteBut the very industrious slave no.CHF2696, also known as centaur came through and the throw-arms were finally bound and ready for installation!
Working now at a feverish pitch, flays flailing, whips whipping, knuckles knuckling and tortures torturing, the grisly assembly line surged forward yet again....
Hurrah.
The frames and throwarms done, the next step was the tying of the pullropes, sling and colour staining of the catapults.
ReplyDeleteHalfway through the process of staining, the Orcish Overseer, having finished his tying and knotting, decided to assault the now overgrown Urofpersia to test out the fiendish machines of war. Alas, the puny rocks thrown were ignored and he laboured on with his staining works unbothered.
Finally, all the catapults were completed and the obligatory photograph was taken to commemorate the occasion.
Final photos before delivery to the warmaster for deployment.
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